i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize