It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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