He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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