I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
