so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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