Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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