With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
