Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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