after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
