so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
