I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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