Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
