I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
