they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
