At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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