they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
