I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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