im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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