i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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