my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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