this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
