omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
