I looked at my own cervix.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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