I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
