I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
