Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
