I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize