OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It was confusing and full of hummus
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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