It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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