can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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