Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Why is your signature on my underwear?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
