HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
