yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
