Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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