You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize