if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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