My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
