Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
