if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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