Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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