I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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