if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You're like the curious george of whores
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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