Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
