That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
