Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Its about making memories worth repressing
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
