Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
40s are totally the cure
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
