would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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