Nicole vs. Life
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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