I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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