My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize