His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
