No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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