anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
