He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
