Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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