So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
