you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
