Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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