Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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