Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
