Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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