he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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