Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
kristin has been a bad kristin
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
