I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
